


Never Again

by backwardsties95



Series: Never Again [1]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul, Tokyo Ghoul: Re - Fandom
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Flashbacks, Gore, M/M, Reunion, Sexual Content, Trauma, memory recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2015-02-08
Packaged: 2018-03-10 04:31:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3276839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/backwardsties95/pseuds/backwardsties95
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How can you go back to something you once had when it's gone?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Again

**Author's Note:**

> This is unbeta'd so I will be going back to check mistakes. I'm just lazy right now.
> 
> I really wanted to write some KaneHide or HaiHide.
> 
> Forgive me.
> 
> Look forward to Tragedy's Potent Kiss, Hide's point of view with a look into what happens after this.
> 
> IMPORTANT: Candies mentioned were made at Anteiku so ghouls are able to eat them as well as humans. They are another way to slightly able to curb their hunger. Saiko had tried them and bought a shit load of them.

Memories were important. Weren't they? Even if they hurt you?

* * *

Sasaki stood in front of the coffee shop he and the squad went to a while back. He had a scarf wrapped around his neck. It wasn't supposed to snow this early, but here he was standing in two inches of snow with the sky a pale grey color. The coffee shop looked warm and inviting. There was something about it that made him nostalgic. This place used to mean something to him. With one great big deep breath, he pulled the hat tighter over his head and pulled the door open.

"Welcome to Anteiku!"

The dark-haired girl from behind the counter gave him a warm smile. He grinned back before picking out a table in the corner of the café. She picked up a pad from somewhere under the counter. Within seconds she was standing next to his table, pen poised for his order that she probably knew by heart.

"How are you? The usual?" she asked.

He looked up at her. Her dark purple hair had grown out a little longer since he last remembered. Something told him he'd seen her with a shorter length.

"Yes, please, the usual."

She scribbled it down on her pad before quickly hurrying to the back of the store. Sasaki pulled his scarf off to set it down next to him. The light chattering of people around him was comforting. It was a change from the bickering and babbling of his "students". The air was warm, giving him a sense of home.

He didn't know why he felt like this is where he belonged. There was the obvious notion that it layed somewhere deep in his lost memories. Perhaps just sitting there for a while would give a push towards opening the door between him and his old life. Whatever happened between him and that girl - Touka, if he remembers correctly - would be there. There was even brief flashes of blond hair in his dreams. Who it belonged to, he didn't know. That state of ignorance irritated him to greatest possible extent he has ever experienced.

When the cup of steaming black coffee was set in front of him, he snapped out of is thoughts to smile up at the waitress. She grinned back at him. She started to turn away, but he reached out and gently grabbed her wrist. It startled her, to say the least. Her eyes were wide when she turned around to look at him.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, "but could I speak with you for a moment?"

She looked at him hesitantly. There was something in her eyes. He didn't know if he could call it recognition or loss. It was a sad look. The chair screeched as she slowly pulled it back, plopping down into its worn cushion.

"Yes, Mr. Sasaki?" she asked. Her hands settled in her lap, but not before she tucked a strand of purple hair behind her ear.

"Ah. . ."

His mouth moved like, assumably, a fish out of water. For some reason, he thought she would curl her lips in a sneer and say, "Shitty -". Something came after the insult - a name on the tip of his tongue - that suited him. In reality, she looked at him in patience and confusion. He chuckled at that. It didn't seem like her to wait for someone.

He took a sip of his coffee. It was perfect as always. It was better than how he could remember how to do it. Almost too similar. The cup was warm in his cold hands. He couldn't remember what he wanted to talk to her about. At least there was one thing he could address while he could still think.

"You can call me Haise," he grinned.

That brought a smile to her face. Though it was still sad, she smiled at him and nodded.

"Okay," she said, only to add his name a moment later.

The bell attached to the door rang as someone walked into the café. Touka looked over then quickly stood from the seat. She gave a quick bow to excuse herself and went to go prepare for the person's order. Haise stared down at the dark liquid in his cup. Since awakening with amnesia, his palette has been off over everything. He can put on a brave face to eat anything but he's sick at the end of the day. His hand instinctually ran through his streaked hair as some way to calm him down. Taking a spoon, he absentmindedly stirred his coffee.

"Kaneki?" asked a familiar voice.

Sasaki looked up. In front of him was a man roughly about the same age as him with golden brown (unfortunate) har hair to match his honey brown eyes. A wave of familiarity and calm washed over him. He knew who this person for a fact but was unable to put a name or memories to him. It was incredibly frustrated.

"I'm sorry. Who?"

The man gave a sad smile. The hope that had been in those eyes dimmed. In no time, an apologetic smile replaced the sad one and a hand went to rub the back of his neck.

"I'm sorry. I thought you were a friend of mine," said the blond. "I've been looking for him and you just look a lot alike."

The man started to turn away but Sasaki couldn't let a real connection to his past slip away that easily. He quickly stood up to catch the man's shoulder. This is the second time he has grabbed someone he knows he was once close to that day. The man turned around to look at him. Their eyes met and it felt like the door was just barely open to his memories. He begged to whatever god there was to at least let this help. He needed to know this person.

"Would you, uh, tell me about your friend? Kaneki, was it?" asked Haise. He struggled to keep his voice steady. The anticipation was making his heart race. It almost felt like when he was in battle about to win over a high rank ghoul. This would give him his past.

The blond smiled. They took their seats back the table where Haise sat before. Touka poured him some more coffee and brought the man a cappuccino. While they had waited for their drinks, Haise learned that the man's name was Nagachika Hideyoshi - Hide for short; he had a stunning resemblance to Kaneki Ken (a name the further crumbles the wall in his head), apart from his hair that was a mix of both of Kaneki's previous hair colors; he learned Hide was best friends with Kaneki since grade school; Hide even said that he had left for several months in order to look for his friend. The mention of some of these details sent flashes of images through Sasaki's head: smiles, laughs, and tears. They were brief but they sufficed. They meant he was getting them back.

He didn't fear as much as before about losing who he is. It was more of a feeling like remembering might change him, instead of erase him. As Hide talked, more flashes appeared with the frequency decreasing. He didn't know how to get more but for the moment it was enough.

Before either of them realized it, they had spent several hours at Anteiku. Haise had gotten there around three o'clock, right after work. Another employee, another one Hide knew, named Nishiki told them it was closing time. Haise apologized several times over while paying for both of their drinks. Hide had laughed at this while throwing an arm around his shoulders. There was a promise of a safe walk home from Hide as Sasaki put on his scarf.

"You don't need to do that," he said with a shake of his head. "I can take good care of myself."

"I'm sure of that. You mentioned at some point you were a ghoul investigator. You can probably kick some serious ass." Hide made ridiculous punching moves and even sound effects for them as if he were hitting someone. "But I can't let my best friend's doppelgänger go alone. It's my duty."

"Duty?"

Hide nodded.

"Since I was unable to protect Kaneki, I'll do my best now with someone just like him."

Haise bit his lip. He could see why Hide felt it was necessary to do such a thing. It was like an attempt to right wrongs.

As they walked, Hide demanded to know more about Haise so he tried to tell him as much as he could with his own limited knowledge. He told him his favorite books and authors - which, incidentally, matches up with Kaneki's - and how he loves puns. It was a known fact around the work place that Sasaki tried his hardest to get the best puns in every conversation. Hide laughed when a horrible pun (good pun? The scoring for these things were backwards) was told from Sasaki's personal list of favorites. Finally, someone who appreciated his jokes.

Hide mentioned how Kaneki was shyer than Haise, which was funny to Hide. He said that someone that nice and that "almost perfect" should have tons of friends. Unfortunately Kaneki had lost both his parents which made him reserved and introverted. Hide tried to bring him out of that shell. He'd only gotten so far by the time they went to college which is when Kaneki had gotten in some hard times.

"To think if I told him that she didn't seem right, he might be here today, you know?" Hide said, his voice sad yet a smile still on his face. "He seemed so happy so I let him be. It was rare he was that happy."

Haise felt facts clicking into place in his head. The door was slipping open one lock at a time. Everything that was said seemed so _fucking_  familiar that he might as well have been there, telling the story himself. Images were hazy but they were coming together. His lower back burned as feelings of fighting washed up on the muddy shore he called his mind. They paused in front of Haise's apartment that he shared with the other quinckes. He turned his head to look at Hide, suddenly caught off guard by the sight.

The streetlight gave the blond hair a glow that just brightened Hide's entire face. It had started snowing lightly as they walked back so there were snowflakes caught in random strands of hair and dusted across his cheeks, quickly melting into little droplets. Haise knew he has seen this before years ago. Hide in the snow with a grin on his face.

"You know, I can't remember who I've been but I know you."

The blond looked over at him, his eyes full of content and lonesomeness. His mouth quirked up in a smirk. Haise tried not to focus on the other's face so he watched as his breath turned from smokey tendrils to nothing.

Hide asked, "Is that a pick-up line?"

"N-no! I mean, I know, for a fact, that I have know you." The investigator looked down at his hands. "That sounds so strange and probably creepy. I don't mean it to be like that."

A cold hand pressed to his cheek. It urged his to bring his eyes up to meet with warm honey ones that didn't show a hint of cautiousness or uncomfortablity. Instead, he saw happiness and acceptance. He didn't know why he saw those quite yet, but he knew he would find out eventually.

"Sasaki, you might not know who you are, but I am starting to get the feeling that I do," Hide whispered. "I've been looking for you."

It was quiet between them, something only they could hear. What Hide had said made Haise's heart swell. His eyes burned with tears. He looked up at the man before hugging him tightly. It was long, close hug that they both needed. Haise wasn't entirely the hugging type, depending on who was asking. This hug in particular was one that would be received and given by people that found each other again.

Which is exactly what they were.

The door was stuck in place, needing a push to let out the flow of thoughts and images and people that was being blocked. There was immense pain coming from behind that figurative door but he needed it. He needed his old self. The push he needed wasn't going to come from him alone. It would need to come from something familiar in his past. Hide seemed to read that thought instantly.

It was just a gentle brush. He almost didn't feel it. Hide's lips pressed ever so lightly against his own. They were oh-so-warm and soft. Haise knew this mouth. He had kissed it many times before when he was younger.

The kiss demolished the wall just as slow as the touch to send the memories flooding back. His knees buckled as it was hit after hit of emotions and replays angry they were boarded up. Rize; Jason; the surgery; the food; Nishiki attacking Hide; everything. He could feel the snipping of his fingers and toes as if it were happening at the very moment. Tears rained down his cheeks. He clutched his hair and pulled.

"Make it stop. It hurts! It hurts - it hurts - it hurts!" Haise pleaded.

There were few good memories. Ones with Hide in them were some of the best: laughing, eating hamburgers, the kisses, the "extracurricular activities". In between the periodic limb mutilation reoccurrences, he could feel hands softly touching him or his hair or lips kissing him and his tears away.

"Sasak-" Hide started.

"No! That's not my name!" the investigator cried. He looked up through his tears to the blond. "That's not my name. I'm Sasaki Haise, that is my name, but it's not."

Hide's gaze never wavered from his. "Then what is your name?"

" _Kaneki Ken_."

Hide dropped down on his knees into the snow as well. He cupped Haise's cheeks with his palms. There was a smile on his mouth as tears fell down his cheeks. He pulled him close, foreheads resting against one another.

"Welcome back," croaked Hide.

Sasaki sobbed with his hands clasped around Hide's wrists. They sat there for a moment. One man bawling out of pain and the other out of joy. Reunion has finally come. They are finally together. Kaneki lifted his pale grey eyes to look at his best friend. Nothing but apologies fell from the lips.

"My Kaneki, always apologizing," Hide joked with a hiccup. "Let's go inside."

The blond tucked an arm under the investigator's armpit to give him leverage. He lifted him off of the ground and helped him up the steps to the front door. Haise dug his hand into his coat pocket for his keys. He was shaking so much that he dropped them just as they were clear of the lip of the pocket. A few muttered curses flew from his mouth as he bent down to pick them up. Hide took that opportunity to sweep Haise's legs out from under him, holding him bridal style in his arms.

"H-Hide, what are you doing?"

"Well, if we are going to pick up where we left off, Ken, I think this is how we should begin," replied the man, his grin happy this time. Hide leaned down to press a kiss to Kaneki's mouth. "So, what happened to Haise?"

"I'm still here."

"You just know who you are now?"

Haise nodded. He sniffled as his crying came to a standstill. The horrible memories of Jason torturing him and eating other ghouls hurt tremendously but it was becoming numb. He felt guilty for ignoring Hide all that time when he was himself. To try and make up for it he leaned forward to kiss Hide passionately. It was a pathetic attempt of an apology, but Hide didn't seem to mind.

"Inside," both men muttered breathlessly.

Trying not to get out of the blond's arms, Haise fumbled to stick the key in the lock. It proved fruitless so he had to hope down and turn completely around. Hide didn't waste any time to snake his arms around Sasaki's waist and pulled the scarf back to trail kisses along his neck. The feeling was familiar. Brief glimpses of times they've done this reminded Haise of how sweet and passionate this sunshine boy could be.

Judging by the dark room and silence that greeted them when the door opened, the rest of the squad was asleep. Haise took Hide's hand, linking their fingers together, and led him up the stair to where his room was.

It was all in slow motion - not that they were going anywhere near fast. The door closed and they stepped into each other's arms. Haise was pushed back until he fell onto the bed, Hide accompanying him soon after. Fingers tangled in blond hair and tongues clashed in a passionate, slow kiss. They pulled apart briefly to allow a good look at the other. Hide smiled at the blushing man beneath him. This was his best friend who could easily kill him with a flick of his wrist and here he was blushing up at him. His eyes flicked upwards for a second.

He could hardly hold in his laughter.

"Is that a banana poster?"

Haise's hands flew over his face in embarrassment.

"Shut the fuck up, Hide. This is not why you're here," he grumbled. "Don't talk about the banana poster."

Hide smiled again before leaning down and pressing a kiss to the corner of Haise's mouth. Though his cheeks were still bright pink, he dropped his hands and turned his head so he could catch Hide's mouth with his own. His hands slid up around the blond's neck to pull their bodies together, almost like two puzzle pieces. He had liked Rize - for the time being before she tried to kill him - but it was never like something he held deep inside his heart for Hide.

Jackets were tossed to the floor along with shoes, hats, the scarf and shirts. There was nothing that compared to the warmth radiating from Hide's skin, filling Haise's chest with it. It gave him a hold on reality so he didn't lose his mind in the moment. His lower back burned with the familiar sensation that he got when he was excited or just pumped with adrenaline.

Hide moved his mouth down Haise's jaw to the pulse in his throat to the visible dip of his collarbone. Feather-like flutters of heat spread from the places where he was kissed. Ever since he awoke, he never did this with anyone. He always felt like it was wrong, that he was wronging someone by trying any kind of an act like that. He once had gotten a little too drunk while with Mutsuki during the celebration of taking down a ghoul and they had slipped away to behind the bar. It was never more than on-top-of-the-clothes stuff because Sasaki couldn't bring himself to allow it to go any further. With many of his memories back and with this man in his arms, he knew why he had felt that way. The only person he ever allowed to be this intimate with was Hide and that was all he ever wanted.

Whether he knew it or not.

Soon the rustling of his belt brought his mind back from thinking as he brought his head up to see Hide with his hands shaking. His hands covered the blond's, doing the work for him. He smiled brightly when it was done.

"That is no fair," Hide complained. "That was supposed to be my job. The mood is ruined."

Sasaki shook his head. "I don't think so. I think it would really be ruined if you struggled with the belt any longer than you did."

With a playful glare, Hide quickly removed the pants from Haise. They clattered somewhere off in the distance, probably near the door judging by the sound of it hitting something hollow. Now there was a single article of clothing on the investigator while Hide was still had his jeans. A thumb ran across the elastic band of Sasaki's boxers to give him a split second warning before those were gone as well. The cool air of the room made him gasp but the wet warmth was enveloped him made him sigh. Hide's bright brown eyes watched him as he slowly tended to the aching need that built up in the time of their pathetic excuse of foreplay. There would be breaks in between long, languid sucks to give little nips and kisses to the insides of his thighs. Everything about what Hide was doing was sweet and slow. He was taking his time and that was exactly what Haise wanted. He wanted to savor this time with this man.

"Sasaki. . . Kaneki, you better not be thinking too much," Hide said just before he took Haise's cock back into his mouth.

Before he could say anything in retort, he gave a deep sigh at the pleasure boiling in his abdomen. His mind was getting far too clouded for any thinking to occur. If he could muster up the breath, he would probably tell him to call him that again. This familiar stirring he was feeling told him if this teasing and consideration continued he wasn't going to last long. His hands clenched around the sheets beneath him to try and get some control over the impending end. He pushed himself up so he was propped up by his elbows. In seconds, Hide was off of his member and back on top of Haise. Their mouths were pressed together as the investigator got to work on Hide's jeans.

"You were taking too long."

Hide grinned under the kiss as he slipped his arms around Haise's waist. As the jeans were kicked off, Sasaki wrapped his legs loosely around Hide's waist. A slow grind began between them that had both men gasping and moaning in the other's ear. Sasaki decided to get a little fun out of it and caught the blond's earlobe between his teeth. He tugged it slightly as he let out a moan between the next wave of friction. There was a groan in response. Hide pulled away to kiss the man again, nibbling his teeth as reciprocation. 

"As much as I would love for this to continue, there is something we need," Hide said. "Slightly more for your benefit than mine."

Haise looked at him in confusion. What is he talking about? It was quiet for a moment. The lack of any attention to his arousal was growing incredibly uncomfortable. He was about to tell the blond to fuck it - quite literally, in fact - when it finally popped into his head.

"Oh."

His face flamed over how he could have forgotten. Giving the other a quick kiss, he slid out from underneath him to scurry over to his desk. There was random hidden objects all over his room; this desk drawer in particular held several miscellaneous things including the package of condoms and bottle of lubricant he was searching for. Once the items were clasped in his hand, Sasaki hurried back over to the bed where Hide just lounged like he was right at home. His underwear was thrown somewhere so they were both naked. Haise crawled on top of Hide with one leg on either side. He trapped Hide beneath him as he slowly rocked his hip against the body pressed against him. Their breathing picked up once more as moans filled the room.

"Have to. . ." Haise sucked in air to try and speak. "Have to be quiet. Kids are. . . Shit, kids are sleeping."

Hide's hands had slipped down to grab Sasaki's ass. He hadn't been paying attention when he was speaking to notice the blond open the bottle and slather his fingers in the liquid. One slick finger pressed against him, earning a mix of moan and gasp. It was cold but slowed warmed up to match the temperature of his body. It slid in and out with little resistance. Haise rolled his head with an appreciative hum.

It wasn't until the second finger that it started to make him squirm. There was a burn that accompanied the pleasure of being touched. The stretching sensation was odd and foreign from months, even years, of nothing. He still ground their hips together, making sure to do it in antagonizing paces. It would be slow then pick up and drop repeatedly.

"Fucking tease," growled Hide as he pushed the third finger into Haise's slicked entrance.

"Nngh. . . Why rush?" Haise leaned down with a smirk, taking Hide's lip in his teeth and tugging. "We have as long as we want."

Hide twisted his fingers in a certain way that made rockets of pleasure shoot up up Sasaki's back. His fingers dug deep into the skin of the blond's shoulders to stay up from the effects of whatever that was.

"Ahh. Found it."

"I almost came! What the hell did you do?"

Haise could feel Hide curl his fingers inside of him, hitting the same spot. A guttural (definitely not sexy) moan ripped through his throat. His fingers dug in harder. It wasn't until a sweet smell wafted through the air that he realised he made the man bleed. His mind blurred as the scent swam around his head. He wasn't sure Hide even noticed that it happened.

The smell was intoxicating. It was what he had smelled on the man all day but now it was ten times thicker and sweeter. He leaned down to run his tongue along the crimson crescents. Flavor exploded over his tastebuds that made him instantly latch on to the area and suck. His hips bucked impulsively as his body felt electrified. Hide moaned loudly.

Haise hushed him before continuing to clean the area and then some. The other him, the one he liked to call Shiro due to his white hair, was against his back with a sadistic grin towards Hide. Shiro pressed his palms to Sasaki's lower back. Whenever that him appeared, he fell into instinct and he didn't know where instinct could take him here. The center of Shiro's palms felt warm. They were pressed right where his Kagune was.

"Use it. Pin him down. Control him," Shiro purred. "Ride him until neither of you can hold your screams. Fuck him senseless."

Haise looked down at the sight beneath him. The blond was breathless from the investigator's thrusts and his cheeks were bright pink. All these thoughts were convincing him he was tired of the slow bullshit. A glimmer caught his eye, drawing his attention to the condoms. He snatched one up and ripped it open with his teeth. With one hand he rolled the latex on slowly. Teasing was so much fun. Hide took the opportunity to position himself for Haise.

That gave him the perfect excuse to use his Kagune. With a moist rip, two tentacles sprouted from Sasaki's back. The ends wrapped around Hide's wrists, pinning them to the bed. His head cocked to the side with an innocent smile as he got a pout in return.

"That's unfair."

"All's fair in love and war," Shiro said through Haise.

Both wrists were wrapped up so he could reach back to set himself up and sink down on Hide's cock. Both men let out muffled moans. There was nothing but pure pleasure between them as Haise stilled to let his body adjust. The room went silent in those few moments. The blond tugged at his bound wrists in impatience.

"Fuck, Ken, _move_."

Haise grinned at the name. The relief and comfort of knowing who he really was felt amazing. He leaned down close to press his mouth against Hide's in a passionately filled kiss. The Kagune released the man's wrists, going back into his back with a wet, bone-cracking sound. Hands slid up his back to the spot where the limbs had come out, lingered for a second or two, then continued up to his shoulders. They seemed to study the dips and ridges of the muscles there.

Giving one last kiss and tug to Hide's lip, the investigator leaned back so he was once again seated on top of his lover. He braced himself by pressing his palms to Hide's chest. It took one deep breath to get him rising and dropping his hips in a slow, fluid motion. His head lulled back. A deep and lustful sigh escaped his mouth as he finally got what his body was asking for. Shiro let his mouth hover over Haise's ear, whispering filthy things. His nails raked red marks down Hide's chest. They puckered to create ridges by the dozens across the creamy skin.

The pace of Haise's hips slowly grew as his earlier close-call came back. The heat coiling in his stomach was rapidly increasing. He ran a hand through his damp hair, the black becoming more apparent.

"There's the dark hair I remember," Hide managed to say between gasps and huffs. His hand reached up from its place on Haise's waist to tangle itself in the mix-match strands. "God, I've missed you."

"I missed you too," replied Sasaki. They met in the middle for a kiss. "I love you, Hide."

Hide grinned brightly. It was like a miniture sun had become personified into this blushing boy. Strong arms wrapped around the investigator and turned him so their positions were switched. With Haise now on the bottom, Hide was free to do as he pleased.

One of Hide's hands wrapped around Haise's erection. It stroked and pulled and rubbed his cock. Stars were beginning to form in front of his eyes. Moans spilled from his lips, some probably too loud to be safe. At that point, all he wanted was more and more of Hide. With every hit to that magical point inside of him with the rough yet slick pull of the blond's hand, nothing could have stopped him from thrusting his hips upward in a desperate attempt to push him closer to the burning desire inside of him.

It was painfully aware to the both of them that Haise was on the verge of screaming. Using his other arm, Hide pulled their sweaty bodies together to push Sasaki's head into the crook of his neck.

"Shh, Ken, the kids will hear you," panted Hide, kissing the skin he could see.

"I-I can't. Hide, I gonna. . . I'm gonna-" Haise was trying so hard to not yell.

Hide's hips slowed down just a fraction. A whimper left the investigator at the difference. He was so close. He needed it so bad. His fingers dug into the blond's back, his own arching off the bed. His throat tightened in preparation for the scream but his mind thought different. Just before he would've let out the intensely loud cry, his teeth sunk deep into the meaty part of Hide's shoulder.

Blood flowed into his mouth like a stream. The sudden flush of sweetness made his spine jerk up again as he came. The hot fluid splattered on Hide's hand and both of their stomachs. His nails dug into the soft skin the entire time. He gulped the aphrodisiac down while rolling his hips to drag out his orgasm. All the while, a deep moan grumbled out of his throat.

Hide stiffened when Sasaki arched up. A sharp gasp emitted from his throat at the bite on his shoulder. A few sudden thrusts later he came to a sudden stop as he came as well.

A part of Haise felt bad for the pain but Shiro shuddered and moaned at the feeling of blood on their tongue. Some spilled and dribbled out of the corner of his mouth. The guilt of it made him release his teeth's hold on Hide. He let go of the man and fell back down on the bed. His breathing was heavy, matching the weight of everything else. He licked his lips to clear as much blood as he could. It was also to, much to Shiro's approval, savor the euphoric flavor. The look on his face must have let Hide in on what he thought of it because he got a large smirk from the blond.

"You seem to enjoy biting me." Hide's thumb wiped a bit of the crimson from Haise's chin. "The old you would have been freaking out."

"I am so sorry about biting you," he babbled. "I did not mean to do that. It was on impulse. I'm so sorry."

Hide laughed. He pulled out, tied off the condom once it was off, and lied back on the bed next to Haise. There was a soft _thunk!_  as the condom was discarded in the nearby waste bin. Haise was still muttering apologies as Hide wrapped an arm around the man's waist to pull him close. It seemed he just disregarded the drying semen on both of them.

"Mm, it wasn't that bad. Actually, if anything, it was kinda hot. You should have heard the sound you were making and how you moved against me" - Hide let out a moan - "God, that was almost heavenly."

Sasaki felt his cheeks flame up in embarrassment. The lingering taste of blood in his mouth didn't help his inward situation. Shiro purred again, asking if they can go for a round two with more of his delicious blood. Haise told him to shut up and keep his mouth shut. As it was so nicely pointed out, he hadn't complained. Regardless, he shoved the thought away of doing it again anytime soon.

Haise turned on his side to snuggle closer to Hide but stopped at the feeling of drying cum on his stomach. He grimaced at it. Snatching a tissue from the box next to his bed, he wiped his skin clean. It was offered to Hide afterwards for him to clean his stomach as well. The blond raised a brow with a smirk, giving a silent statement that he wasn't going to do it. If that was how it was going to be, fine. The tissue was tossed in the bin and Haise quickly straddled Hide. He slid back so his mouth hovered over the dirtied area.

"Eh?" Hide gasped, obviously caught off guard by the sudden action.

In a swift movement, the investigator's tongue licked up the now cold fluid. It was taboo to him, licking his own semen. It was bitter and thick but not as bad as one would think. Once he was sure he had done a thorough job, he slipped off and stood up. His arms stretched above his head, pulling the muscles in his back taut to let him know his lower back and ass were going to be sore for a while. It took a moment to walk over to his dresser and pull out new clothes to wear. That consisted of boxer briefs and pajama pants. He was even quicker putting them on than pulling them out of their crammed spot. While tying the draw strings, he felt arms snake their way around his waist. A warm body pressed against his back and he smiled. It was reassuring to have someone he was as close to as Hide with him - loving him so. His feelings for Touka and Tooru haven't changed; however, he just found the one he knew he loved with all his heart. He needed to reconnect with Hide for all the time they lost.

"I'm gonna get a drink," said Haise. He turned around to wrap his arms loosely around the man's neck. "You want anything?"

"Maybe a glass of water. Don't take too long, Sasaki Ken."

Haise's cheek flushed at the mashed names. Both names were his and Hide managed to fit them together.

He gave a nod, kissed the corner of Hide's mouth, then untangled himself from the arms encircling him. Of course, Hide couldn't come with him due to his nudity. He made sure to quietly and quickly close the door behind him so it wasn't obvious that he had someone with him. His hair was still messy, he noted, when he ran a hand through it. The black and white strands had dried in awkward angles according to how Hide had pulled them. He made a mental reminder to take a shower tomorrow. Going to the kitchen downstairs, the quiet atmosphere was calming after the events that happened that night. His muscles were slowly getting more and more sore. Regardless, it was one of the best nights he has ever had. The cupboard creaked as he opened the door to get a glass for both him and Hide. He had started to pour both of them some water when he heard a crunch like a chip bag behind him. His body whirled around to see Saiko with a mouth stuffed full of whatever chip brand she was eating. The look on her face told him that she was just as uncomfortable as he was.

They looked at each other in awkward silence for a moment or two. She swallowed some of the food in her mouth audibly. He rubbed the back of his neck with a nervous little laugh.

"Hey, Saiko."

She put another chip into her mouth. "Hi, Sasaki."

Another nervous laugh bubbled from deep inside of his throat. Her dark hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail that suited her well for a Tuesday night. She was also in baggy pants and a t-shirt with some band on it. It was one of those cuddle-on-the-weekends, want-to-wake-up-to-that appearances, in Haise's opinion.

"So, uh, h-how much. . .?"

"The end of it. I had just finished my game when I heard you."

Haise groaned while covering his face with his hands. Everything that was pleasantly get only minutes before was now completely and utter embarrassment as well as disbelief. He peeked through his fingers then ran them through his hair.

"I'm so sorry you had to hear that. We tried to keep it down."

She nodded then scurried off towards her bedroom upstairs. He groaned again, hitting his head on the counter. So they had been too loud, though he shouldn't be surprised by that. He had known that a few moans here and there were much too loud. Hopefully Saiko would not mention any of this to anyone.

Grabbing the glasses and a bowl of some fruit candy, he quickly escaped to his room where he found himself alone with the sound of running water in the background. Hide apparently had gone for a shower. Since he had time Haise decided to clean up the strewn clothes. He folded them neatly at the end of the bed, one pile for his and one pile for Hide. Once that was set up, he sat in his bed with the bowl next to him and his cup in his hand. The sudden realization that Hide didn't have a towel occured to him. The bowl was left on the bed for the time being as he went over to the closet in the hall outside. The door handle squeaked as he turned it, stealing one out. With the towel draped over his arm, he went into the bathroom and set it on the counter.

"I laid out a towel for you for when you're done," Sasaki stated loudly over the rush of water. Through the foggy shower curtain, he could see the bright blond hair that he loved so much.

"Okay, thanks," replied Hide.

He walked out of the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Stepping into his room was like a different experience. Nothing had changed, of course, but there was different feel to the entire thing. Maybe it was that he had someone in there or maybe it was just that it was _Hide_  that was there. He just loved that it felt livelier than ever before. He laid in his bed and took the bowl of candies. It sat on his chest while he stole one, popping it into his mouth with a hum of approval.

The water stopped, signaling the end of Hide's shower. A smile crept across his face as he waited for the man to come out with his towel on. At the thought, his cheeks flushed. That was an incredibly dirty thought, not his normal run-of-the-mill kind. He threw an arm over his head to try and hide his embarrassment. This night was all ups and downs. A moment later Hide cam eout with the towel wrapped loosely around his waist. It let out the peek of his hipbones from the lip of the towel. Even if it was likely they were not going to do anything else that night, he wanted to just hold him down and kiss them into oblivion. He wanted to nip them until they were pink and marked with bruises. Those urges needed to stay under control.

Hide ran his hand through his hair, making a few droplets fall onto the floor and his chest. This was becoming an issue. He tore his eyes away from Hide to take a moment to think. Slipping another candy into his mouth, he adjusted his position on the bed to put his arm under his head. The blond walked over to the pile of clothes and looked at it. He lifted up his shirt and snifed it.

"You can stay here for the night."

"Thank you. I'll happily accept that offer." He looked down at his shirt again then up at Haise with a sheepish smile. "Mind if I borrow some clothes?"

Haise pointed his finger in the direction he spoke of as he said them. "Sure. Go ahead. Some shirts you can sleep in are in the top drawer or in the closet; the pants are in the drawer on the very bottom."

Hide nodded as he went over from place to place, taking out clothes for him to wear. Sasaki shoved a couple more pieces of candy into his mouth to keep his mind off of the dips and curves of Hide's body. The flavor dispersed over his tongue, giving him something to do with his mind. He liked the taste. They were some of his favorite candies that Saiko bought. They had been silent for the time Hide got dressed; the time it was broken was when Hide spoke up after all of it was on. He told Sasaki that he needed to run out for a moment, only to run to the store to pick up something for the next day. It was suggested that Haise go along with him, just for safety in numbers at such a late hour. Hide said he could handle himself, just like Haise could, then went out the door all bundled up. They shared a brief kiss at the front door before HIde walked out into the cold night.

The investigator watched the blond walk down the street, his breath curling in front of him from the temperature. After finally seeing his image disapppear around a corner, he stepped inside to sit on the couch and watch for his return.

 

It had been at least thirty minutes since Hide had left and that was too long for him to be gone. Hide had only said he was running to the store for something. It couldn't have been that far away since it was almost ten thirty at night. Nothing is really open for that late unless it is a convenience store. He got up from the couch to put on a shirt, his jacket, his hat, and some gloves. His scarf was with Hide, a parting gift to make him come back.

After his shoes were on his feet, he walked out into the freezing cold. He wandered along the street, silently looking for his friend. Was it right to even call him a friend? Was he just a lover? Was he a boyfriend? Those were trival matters at the moment. What he needed to be thinking about was where Hide could had gone. He had turned in the direction of the nearest convenience store when he started asking random people if they had seen Hide. They said he headed in the direction that he thought he would have. He thanked them then started in his original direciton. The temperature was starting to numb and he wanted to go backso heat up under his blanket. He made it half way to the convenience store before he heard a slick, familiar sound.

"Oh no," he whispered, fear swelling up inside of his heart. He didn't have his quinque with him, leaving him at a slight disadvantage. He followed the sound with hope that what he was hearing wasn't what his gut was telling him. The wet rips were coming from an alleyway about 100 meters away from the store. His back burned as his gut kept telling him that it wasn't right. his steps were quiet as he slowly made his way closer to the corner of the alleyway's opening. There were even more wet sounds the closer he got. He peeked his head over the edge to look at the scene and his heart dropped.

There was a woman with her back to him, head bent down to cover her face. There was a discarded plastic bag off to the side with a couple of bottles inside. Half pooled to the side was the end of a familiar scarf. A tuft of blond hair coud just barely be seen over her shoulder. She must have heard him because she turned around with a grin. Her chin dripped in blood that made his tears water as the smell confirmed his worst fears. Hide dropped to the ground as she turned around completely. She stood up, licking her fingers in the process.

"Oh? Did I eat your friend?" She giggled. "He was just too good to resist. You smell weird. You smell a little like a human but you also smell like a ghoul."

Haise couldn't pay attention to what she was saying. All he could see was the blood flowing from the wound on Hide's shoulder. It was just by his neck near the artery. The anger and fear that was rising inside of him. The edges of his vision blurred and his body seemed to move on its own. His kagune burst from his back, flaring to life. Shiro took the chance of Haise's instability in the moment to let his time shine. One phrase went through his mind as he started towards the woman. . .

_What is 1000 minus 7?_


End file.
